Fifteen:Fifty-One Photography | The Blog

I saw the most perfect snowflake that I’ve ever seen yesterday!  It landed on the kids’ stroller while we were out for a walk.  It was so perfect, in fact, that I had to stop and admire it for a little bit.  A winter’s version of stopping to smell the roses, if you will!

We were supposed to get twenty centimeters of snow last night and knowing that made me simplistically grateful for my little snowflake moment because I knew that – had it been a few hours later – I probably wouldn’t have noticed it.  I would have gotten lost in the storm.  Blown away by the winds.  Never to be appreciated.

This week has been my first week “flying solo” with both kids.  Since the day that Avery was born there has been at least two…but usually three…and sometimes upwards of seven adults in our house at all times!  So while the kids may not have always been outnumbered…we have, at least, benefited from a level playing field!  Now, going on six weeks later, it’s just the three of us during the day, figuring out what our new routine is now that this pretty little addition has joined us!

Truthfully, I’m relieved to find that it’s not so bad!  I’ve spent months anticipating that my soul would be crushed under the weight of trying to juggle four people’s schedules, but I’m starting to be convinced that, as long as no one takes away my coffee, we might just all live to talk about it!!!  Having said that though…it’s busy!  Very busy!  Between feedings and naps and bath times and doctors appointments and bible studies and gym classes and client meetings {and and and…!!}, we are – essentially – living in our own little snow storm.  Throughout the course of the day, it can feel like flurries are blowing in a thousands different directions…conditions can be pretty messy…and like any snow storm, your visibility can easily get compromised…making it hard to see too far ahead.  But then, there’s also the moments when that most wonderful of snowflakes lands right in front of you and you have no choice but to just stop and enjoy its perfection.  Moments like reading in bed with Hudson at the end of the night…or watching the adorable faces that Avery makes while giving her a bath.  Because every storm comes to an end…every storm has a calm {ours usually arrives around 8pm each night!!}…and when all is said and done, every storm is actually made up of countless little pieces of unique perfection.  You just have to stop long enough to notice them.

And when all else fails {and heaven knows there will be days when everything epically fails!!}…I guess I’ll just put on some boots and mitts, and patiently wait for the storm to pass!!  It is winter, after all!

In the meantime…our little love turned a month old last week!  Already!  And I’m convinced that few things in life are sweeter than this Daddy and his daughter…

Have you ever wished that it was yesterday again?  Or last week? Or even just five minutes ago?

A few years ago – before I was a parent or a full-time photographer – I was sitting on a bench outside of my office waiting for Steve to come and pick me up after work.  It had been a depressingly dark and damp Wednesday afternoon.  The bench that I was sitting on was marble and cold, with little drops of rain dripping from the underside.  I had been having a really difficult time that day and felt plagued with troubles that I simply couldn’t figure out.  Questions about my work…questions about my contribution…questions about my life.  It was hard and discouraging and I clearly remember the heavy burden that I felt from trying to tackle all of these questions at once.

The next evening – right around the same time – Steve and I had been sitting in our bed, laughing and catching up on our day together.  There was a warm spring breeze coming in from the open window in our bedroom and the day as a whole looked very different than the one I had endured twenty-four hours earlier.  Not more than ten minutes later though, it turned into the scariest day of my life.  One of the worst.  One that I wanted so badly to forget.

As we endured the flood of emotions that soon followed, one of the things that I remember most was the desire for it to be yesterday again.  I would have given anything for it to be yesterday again…anything to be sitting on that bench again.  Basically, I would have given anything for my problems of yesterday to be my problems of today.  Sitting there, at the bottom of our stairs, curled up in a ball in tears, made me realize just how much our problems are relative…how much they are actually manageable once put into perspective.  And so I wanted yesterday back.  I wanted those problems back because those problems – once put into my split second change of mind set – were actually the subtle beauties of life…the challenges that bring us growth, maturity and wisdom.

I was remembering once again the “problems of yesterday” as I was sitting with Hudson in his room around four o’clock this morning…

Our son has fallen completely in love with his little sister!  He simply cannot get enough of her and has become the most adoring of big brothers over the past month.  He is, however, still struggling with the adjustment in his own way.  Most of which being at night.  Our little all-star sleeper hasn’t made it through the night once since the day we brought Avery home from the hospital.  Instead, he shuffles down the hallway at all hours of the night wanting to crawl into bed with us {bless his heart}.  Sometimes this happens once or twice a night…other times {like last night}, it happens seven or eight times a night.  Throw in the mix a couple of feedings for our little lady and it can make for some pretty blurry day time hours!  It also makes perspective a little harder to maintain at times since I’m convinced that chronic fatigue is the death of all sanity!

And so, in the wee hours of the night…when it feels like I may never sleep for more than an hour at a time ever again…instead of wishing away that terrifying night in our lives so many years ago…I try to compassionately remember the yesterday.  In fact, in some ways, I’m almost grateful for that life changing moment because it reminds me that – given the choice – I would effortlessly choose the challenge of comforting my children in the middle of the night over any number of life’s more ravaging turn of events.  And it makes it easier.  In some instances, it even makes it beautiful {groggy and exhausting, yes…but still beautiful!} because there are, most definitely, many worse things in life than watching the snow fall on your deserted street at three in the morning with your baby curled up on your lap.  There are worse things than being needed.  There are worse things than the sleep deprivation that comes with the two amazing little people that sleep {or don’t sleep!} at the end of your hallway!

There is always something worse than what you thought was yesterday’s problems…

Photo credit: Ewan Phelan, The Last Forty Percent Photography, www.lastfortypercent.com

“The snow is snowing, the wind is blowing
But I can weather the storm!
What do I care how much it may storm?
I’ve got my love to keep me warm…”
~ Irving Berlin

Here we are…the night before Christmas!

As I write this, Avery is dozing to sleep on my lap; Hudson is playing with his grandma; Steve is enjoying a moment of solitude in our bedroom and Christmas carols are resonating throughout the house.  All in all, peace is permeating our home right now.  And hopefully yours as well.

It’s been an amazing two weeks for us in the Smyth house.  It’s been an amazing twelve months actually but the last two weeks in particular – the first two weeks with our daugther – has been the very essence of what Christmas is really about.  We’ve enjoyed the gift of health, happiness, family and friends.  We’ve enjoyed the Christmas spirit in its purest form.

Of course, we’ve also managed to mix in some tree trimming, some gingerbread house making and some excessive holiday baking.  But it is only fair…if I’m going to get up countless times in the night to feed my beautiful newborn…then it only makes sense that I should have the proper baked good to get me through the long dark hours!!!  I’m pretty sure that Santa would want it that way!!

But now it’s time for a little break.  A Christmas break.  It’s time for some decadent hot chocolate made on the stove…some board games to be pulled out of retirement and some serious joy to be had as we watch our son discover Christmas for the first time as a toddler {he feels the need to go and “check in” on his tree ornaments every day…just to make sure they are right where he left them!!!}.  It’s time for a little rest and relaxation and soaking in the magic of it all.

So, from our family to yours, we wish you the loveliest of holidays.  We hope that it’s filled with loved ones, more holiday movies than you can handle and a slight overdose on all things chocolate!

Merry Christmas everyone…may your love keep you warm…